The Results

EPT Pregnancy Kits can be used as early as four days after a missed period. That’s what the box promised. Wow. This is a nice feature, I assume, if you are trying to get pregnant or if you are young and absolutely terrified of the very thought of pregnancy. I thought quickly in my head how many days post missed period I was. Not days. Weeks. Probably four or five weeks.  The thinking was, I’ve only missed a period. Not a big deal. To be expected. I am forty-three after all and waiting every month for the month to be the month of no period has become the norm … and after thirty three years of twenty-eight days like clockwork, with the three times reprieve for pregnancies at age nineteen, twenty-one, and twenty twenty-eight…no period would be welcome.

So no period. Yeah!!

Menopause? Wow. I didn’t know how I felt about that.

Then somewhere in the back of my brain creeped in that doubt …about the same time that I noticed my nipples were extremely sensitive …about the same time I noticed I was absolutely exhausted at the same time every day, as in, I can’t keep my eyes open …about the same time I noticed that at ten-thirty every morning I got the shakes and dizziness and that strange wave of nausea.

I can’t be pregnant!

That’s what I told myself for ten days after noticing the “symptoms”.

Then came the thought, “Holy shit-I could be pregnant.”

I put off buying the EPT kit another five days, trying to figure out how I felt about it. Looking at the result…PREGNANT…I still didn’t know how I felt.

A week later, I still don’t know how I feel.